Your tits are I can't wait for
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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