girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
