I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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