I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
