So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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