Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All the doctor said was why
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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