worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
where are my eyebrows?
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