I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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