I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
