New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize