new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do vagina's smell?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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