and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
