at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
