can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
