God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
