NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
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Naked Twister starts at high noon
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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