I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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