Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
