After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
