Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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