talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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