Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
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When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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