I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
