apparently the secret to your success is patron
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
