we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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