White coat. Heels.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
