i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize