The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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