I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
