Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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