My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i believe in u and ur pee
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
