Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
