Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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