I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize