You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize