I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize