The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
