New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
