I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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