Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
