It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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