I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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