If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
