I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
