hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
