And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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