My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
