so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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