He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
