Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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