ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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