I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
