note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
not ubering you a puppy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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