Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
