I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We are all done wearing pants today
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
